today’s kids will never understand the horrors of having to share ONE computer with the whole damn family
WRITING SMUT IS SO HARD?? Are the hands on the hips or the dick? Who’s on top, who’s on bottom OR MAYBE they are in some new position that makes no fucking sense? Hands and knees? Maybe someone is doing a handstand? Have they taken off their clothes? Where’s the lube? DO they need to leave the room to get lube or is it in the drawer? DO THEY NEED TO GO TO THE STORE FOR MORE LUBE? LUBE IS IMPORTANT. ALSO, CONDOMS??? How much foreplay is too much?? Can they kiss in this position? HOW MANY HICKIES ARE OKAY? Has it believably been long enough for them to have an orgasm? Who comes first or do they come together? Does anyone need a blowjob or will hand stuff be enough? rIMJOB? DO I EVEN GO THERE?
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The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
Stills from 12 Years A Slave, 2013, Dir. Steve McQueen,
He finished, and uttered a short, sharp laugh. Then the villain’s story came to an end. Olaf lay back on the sand, far from the treachery of the world, and the children stood on the beach and stared into his face. His eyes shone brightly, and his mouth opened as if he wanted to tell them something. But the Baudelaire orphans never heard Count Olaf say another word.
We just have to wait until Thursday. That’s when all these unfortunate events will be over and I go back to the real love of my life.